I am inspired this morning by something I read in one of my private Facebook groups of amazingly courageous, outside the box “explorers” of new consciousness. In the article, which I am hoping to be able to share here with you, the author speaks about a very recent attack of one of her own dark aspects that is still trying its’ best to protect her and keep her from expanding; in short to keep her small and less than she is, her radiant God SELF. Now I know this girl from her many candid postings, her honesty is transparent, her willingness to go beyond her wounded past, absolute. She inspires me.

All of us are held by a dark aspect, created in a past life experience and carried forward on a conscious wave of energy, all of us, whether or not you believe it or understand, it matters not a lick. All energy seeks resolution and the only place that this can happen is through us, our bodies and our lives. We are the bridges to our Divine. WE are the living yin/yang symbol…the dark in the light of us holds our divinity safe, deep in the heart of us; the one place that most are reluctant to look. Yet here is this heartfelt sharing reminding me of who I AM and what I am here to do; to experience, to write and to share.

I was feeling such excitement as I read her words, her experience containing all of the energy that I know so well; the energy that punishes right after an opening, that continues to play the same message over and over again, ” we’re sorry the person to whom you are trying to reach is unable to express life, as they are currently experiencing their own unique form of incapacitation!” This feeling of not being able to say “yes” to life can show up in a myriad of ways.  For many it is a feeling of “not being well”, yet the choices are almost too many to list! I can almost hear you all now beginning to understand and to hear you own.  I am feeling the humor bubbling up now. I swear that I hear laughter! I mean I have suffered from so many different types of “I can’t,” ranging from the “I don’t feel like it” and escalating towards physical feelings of not being well with many restrictions playing out from eating choices to panic attacks while driving. Anywhere that I felt myself expanding was where I shut myself down. Many today still busy constructing their own form of “I can’t” have chosen the financial reality that restricts and controls everything. Most of us are trapped primarily by one or the other, though the two often go well together! Remember we are as unique as a snowflake; no one is doing it in the exact same way.

Over the years I have become more and more aware of the feelings that control me. I have experienced feelings of depression and hopelessness so dark that I thought I might never rise again. There were many strange sensations of physical weakness, but basically it all resulted in an inability to enjoy LIFE, the ultimate sign of an aspect attack. It saps our joy, destroys our belief in self and keeps us trapped in our own drama. It has a role which is to continue the charade that we know as life and keep us away from our authentic selves, our own spiritual natures, our Divinity and our power and it works, quite beautifully.

You see I was so busy watching my life and my physical body’s reaction to it that I forgot to get in it! Oh I was in everyone else’s….lol….loved it there, felt so safe to be able to direct others, while safely denying the constrictions that I felt in me.  I really had begun to believe that this was me; this limited untrustworthy version that I had constructed over these past 50 years or so was all that I was and that my job was to fit into this rather small tight space. No wonder I was dreaming from as long as I can remember of feelings of contraction and expansion. So when I began to say Yes to life in a brand new way after all the physical purging of these past few months and felt safe, felt able, felt myself truly being and expressing all that I AM, I was also setting myself up for a major aspect attack.

This time I was ready, however I did not yet know what I was signing up for! I had a friend in town visiting and we were out shopping. Before I even knew what was happening, I found myself picking up several spring items with no idea, no limit and no agenda, I was simply out with a friend, having fun and allowing myself to say yes to the experience. Soon I was in the change room trying things on and felt myself expanding into the new that I know is just right there in front of me. I do not yet know exactly what it will all look like, however I do have a very good sense of where I am headed and most importantly who I am and what I have to offer. Items just appeared to me, they almost jumped off their racks asking “Can you see me, are you ready?” “Yes”, I heard myself answer finally, “YES!” All of life is here to serve my expansion, all of it, every last bit of it, the good, the bad and the ugly, all. We are built to thrive, not maintain the status quo; we are here to expand beyond our limits, to push the boundaries of our personal comfort zones.  New energy flows, like water, it finds its own direction always and I am in the flow.

Oh the joy, the ease and the feeling of  freedom that I experienced when I heard myself saying “yes” to hot yoga the next morning, willing to feel what it is like to allow an adrenalin rush to get us somewhere on time, realizing that this was a new flow for me, this “yes” that I was feeling deep within. It was a magical day and I felt at home in me, at peace and in full trust. It is no longer something to be sought after, studied or tried for, I am here now fully integrating my divine human self, masculine and feminine balancing within and so it is. All is indeed well all of the time. Yesterday, twenty-three years ago, I joined a very special “hood”, the one called motherhood and shared by many. Today I recognized another brave soul whose very life is teaching her all that she is ready to know. We are the new humans, our lives; our bodies are the new teachers. It is no longer out there, but in here.

Very special thanks to you Lise Storm Karlsen for your posting this morning and as always, much loving thanks to Adamus  and Tobias of the Crimson Council.

By Brenda Harley 28/02/12

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