Well, all I know for sure these days, is that I am no longer asking! Lately I feel a strong sense that everything is changing; that the life I have always known is possible is now beginning. It feels a little like having two beautiful boys, being somewhat afraid to try for the girl that I always felt coming, letting go of it and then poof, she was here, announcing herself in a dream and even choosing her own name! So it is kind of funny that this morning, I woke after an incredibly deep sleep, a rarity these days, hearing her voice calling my name. So after waking, as a mother and taking care of what was up in that moment, I sat back with my coffee and heard my own voice, knowing that I am expanding again and this time I know clearly who I am. Finally these last years of study and introspection have come full circle; all the ways in which I reached out for something new, the teachers that I found or that found their way to me, the commitments to myself made and honoured. It is graduation time! I have journeyed far and wide, gone deep within and found a sweet, still space of remembering the fullness of me.

It struck me again this morning, realizing the magnitude of this momentous time frame that we are in; this portal of new energy between the eclipses and the Venus transit. It is a portal through which immense new energies are coming in to assist us moving forward in a brand new way, with an expanded consciousness supporting us, as we learn how to be aware of ourselves while being in relationship with others, simultaneously, with all of life. I am so grateful for me, having made the choice to stay here, right here and be who I am, living as a new consciousness pioneer and teacher. Yes, I am. It is after all, who I am.

It strikes me now as being funny, how hard we all try to fit in; to be what others want us to be and to take care of their feelings instead of our own, being told again and again that someone ‘out there’ knows more about us and how we operate than we do! Follow the rules, obey, fit in, don’t question or rock the boat, all of it affirming our reliance on an outer authority; some outer God, or a doctor maybe! It is so ingrained in our belief systems; that we continue to build our lives around this flawed belief, giving our power away again and again, waiting to be saved! Saved from what? This amazing journey of discovering “who we are” is our very reason for being; our primary purpose. What a paradox! The only obstacle in front of anyone is the one that we ourselves put into place, the veil of forgetfulness that hides us from our own divinity. And I am here to say that it feels so great to have gone beyond this limitation, to have pushed my own barriers aside and said, “Yes, to life,” without the need for control and to welcome in the fullness of my soul. The freedom to be and to express from this place of sovereignty is liberating. I hear a clear strong voice within these days that says, “I am done with trying to make a living, or looking for where I might fit. I am now creating my life, the one that supports my choosing to live!” There is a big difference, this shift in me; integration of all my lifetimes of experience and one that I have been learning about and preparing for always. It is a million dollar make-over that happened form the inside out and it is happening to you too! It all makes perfect sense, the karmic wheel going round and round until we choose to get off….the future is the past healed!

So many times in the past I would feel my discomfort at being asked, “What do you do” while hearing my answer, “I am a stay at home Mom”. “Where is the dignity”, I would wonder, “Where is the honouring for this incredibly difficult, yet vital job? Why the emphasis on doing, what about being someone that adds to the planetary harmony? Must I do it all at once? Why should I do outer work that impedes upon my ability to do the one that really matters, this demanding job of parenting? Why is this offering not enough? Who is raising the kids? Where is the balance?” I have been asking a long, long time and answering too! It takes only twenty years or so to focus primarily on parenting, surely as a society, we can afford to support families putting the needs of their children ahead of all else for such a short time in the continuum of our working life, allowing one parent to be there, really be there in those first five years of their life? Are we not raising the next generation of humans, hoping against hope that they can do what we feel we could not? Stop war, bullying and intimidation, violence on every level and find peace, co-exist harmoniously, helping and not hurting each other?

It’s not rocket science here folks! Just look at the income potential for all who choose careers in what we term the social section, the nurturers; the teachers, nurses, day care workers to name a few; the ones helping to raise and care for the next generation. Look at who earns the most money in our “developed” world! What a strange message to keep giving our kids. How can we keep raising the next generation of offspring with such little regard for those doing the job? How can we possibly raise little humans who feel good about themselves, when those who are “hands on” parents or working to support the parents are so underappreciated and under paid? It is the revolution that we are all undergoing and it is within each one of us, this re-balancing of our masculine/feminine energies; each side needed to support the whole. So how we partake in this evolutionary impulse makes all the difference, by adding or subtracting to the wave. Are you fitting in or finding your own way to self-worth? Do you love the way that you feel with the one that you “love” or are you just fooling yourself? This is our work, the path of the heart; finding the love of SELF before we can truly love another.

I have been doing this ‘work’ always; questioning everything and finding my value and thereby assisting the return to balance. All of us have a role to play in birthing this new earth into form. It is right here in our own lives that balance happens. We do it; we are it; the bringers of harmony and balance. We are the bridge between dimensions! It was in my experience of motherhood that I found the strength within, demanding that I respect myself enough to do this job well and with my full heart, next, to insist upon the same treatment from others. I was undefeatable; my self worth in this arena could not be diminished! Never did I expect, breathing into three completely natural deliveries and connecting with my feminine power, which somehow managed to bypass all of my fear receptors that I was only beginning. Never could I have imagined how joyous and challenging this journey would be and that each one of my children was here to teach me something different about my own limitations and fears. Each time that I embraced the responsibility of accepting my own feelings, refusing to allow them to bleed over into our children’s experiences, I expanded my own awareness. Each time that I was able to see them struggle with an ‘outer’ imposed limitation, and somehow liberate themselves to still express themselves without fear; I felt the growth in us both. I knew, instinctively, that it was all perfect for me, the good, the bad and the ugly! I was asked again and again to feel my own fear and accept responsibility for it. Our life is always offering us the ideal teaching ground; all is contained within. Where are we still stuck or unaware of ourselves? Are we growing or staying still, so small and quiet because we are afraid or too beat up by life that we have given up or given in? Our children are here to show us the light, but first we must encounter our own darkness or we will do to them what was done to us. It works, it really does! Expand and contract, the waves are endless and fast. This life offers us many opportunities to walk our talk, so pay attention to what you are feeling and accept the gift in this contraction, for the birthing is upon us. Duality is ending and no longer will we tolerate those who are not in an authentic space as teachers. We must be the change that we are here to teach about!

I feel so full these days, so filled with joy and wonder, not totally clueless but still not knowing exactly how it will all work out, my direction clear, for this is how it works in the fifth dimension. It is a flow in the now moment, which supports choice, based on our heart centers. “Who are you” whispers my soul, “can you hear me?” “YES, I can!” I know who I am, my purpose and why I am here, pretty cool eh? It only took me fifty-five years this time and many lifetimes to arrive, home in me, right back to where I began! But I am here now and feeling very excited and ready to begin; to be the teacher of consciousness that I am; a pioneer, no doubt a lot like you! So if you have any questions about the collapsing 3D world you see around you or the needy relationships based on a third dimensional unacknowledged need and are ready to move into a freer “5D” way of being in relationship with your SELF first and then another, you might want to reach out and ask, ask anything! It begins with a question; a question about you ‘in’ your life, are you, can you be so daring as to ask? The shift of 2012 is here and I have, you can too. It is as simple and as challenging as one deep breath in; a choice to be the explorer of your own feelings, allowing your awareness; your point of perception; consciousness, to expand. The bridge is you….the bridge is me.

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